The Four-Letter Word That Threw Me

I typically think of myself as shockproof. My ears have been assaulted with every known curse word in at least 3 different languages, litanies of vilely phrased threats, and graphic descriptions of everything from other people's medical procedures to the details of their sex lives. I don't even flinch anymore. Yawn!

However, as I was driving home last night enjoying a spirited debate on sports radio about the latest NFL doping scandal, I heard something so obscene come out of my speakers that it almost caused me to swerve and take out a magnolia tree and grinning electronic yard Santa.

What I heard was a news reporter quoting some auto industry reps who are currently up on Capital Hill begging for a bailout. They had testified that they were prepared to "cut expenses, slash jobs and even make cuts in executive pay."

"Even" cut executive pay??? Excuse me? As if that should be the last resort? After decades of outrageous salaries, disgusting bonuses, golden parachutes and the mismanagement that contributed to this debacle in the first place, executive pay should be the first thing that gets slashed.

There is a shift guy on the line...his back is killing him, his morale is shot, he's got a wife and 3 kids, a heavy mortgage, little chance at credit and rough going trying to find a new job in this economy. So, the first straw they grab at to fix things is pulling the rug out from under him? Meanwhile, the guys at the top who are responsible for this mess in the first place have millions socked away in the bank, a bevy of botoxed second wives in lovely McMansions on the nice side of town, and if the whole company goes down in flames, they'll have plenty of money to keep them going until one of their cronies from the country club gifts each of them with a sinecure at a new company. For heaven's sake, they flew to Washington for the first hearings before Congress in a private jet. Would you give a handout to a guy who rolled up in a Bentley to beg for it?

I freely admit, I haven't been in the corporate world that long. But after working at three different companies, I still can't see what any executive does that warrants the huge gap in salary that attends the position. A friend of mine who has worked in various corporations for 20 years patiently explained to me that the guys at the top are the decision makers, they have the taxing job of deciding the direction for the company, and that the workers are just responsible for carrying out the plans. The exec is the computer brain of the car that drives the engine; it's expensive because it's delicate and important. Well, guess what...not everyone can weld and fit parts for 8-10 hours a day either. And she may be right, but in this case, when all those lovely little "computer brains" have driven the car industry straight and hard into a brick wall, it's time to perform a little brain surgery.

Executive pay should be the first line item to get slashed at the Big Three, before Capital Hill even thinks about doling out a dime to them. In fact, I say don't limit the cuts to pay. Start asking a few questions and figure out which U.S. auto executives are responsible for the overpriced cars, the lack of innovative design, the complete failure to move with the consumer consciousness, and start the job slashing there. I think that will make things a bit more "even."