Day Off

When I contemplate suicide, I breathe a sigh of relief. I know I'd never really do it. Too afraid I'll miss the new fall lines and the next Oscar night. Beside, Baskin-Robbins might come out with a 32nd flavor any day now. A girl has to be vigilant. However, when I contemplate homicide, I know it is time to take a day off. Hence, today I am at home. There are several sophomores who should be crossing themselves and planning a grateful trip to the worship center of their choice.

What did I decide to do with my mental health day? Hang on, people. This will set your world on end. I decided to devote a large portion of my day to tidying up. Yes, I am serious. And really cleaning. Not my usual, shove-everything-into-a-box-and-hide-it-somewhere, No!-don't-open- that-closet-AAAIIEEEEE! cleaning. I am removing grime from surfaces and clutter from my life.

You never saw so many pissed-off looking spiders.